Sleep deprivation is practically a rite of passage for new parents. You may have heard the warnings, but nothing truly prepares you for the reality of newborn sleep—or lack thereof. One of the biggest surprises? Newborns don’t sleep like adults, and understanding why can make those early months a little easier to navigate.
Why Doesn’t My Baby Sleep Like I Do?
Newborns sleep a lot—up to 16-18 hours a day—but in unpredictable stretches that rarely align with adult sleep cycles. Unlike adults, who go through long sleep cycles with deep and REM sleep, newborns spend most of their time in active sleep, a lighter phase where they twitch, make noises, and wake frequently. This frequent waking is actually a survival mechanism, allowing them to eat often and get the nourishment they need to grow.
Adding to the challenge, newborns don’t have a built-in circadian rhythm, the internal clock that tells us when it’s day or night. In the womb, they were lulled to sleep by your movement during the day and more active at night. Once born, it takes weeks—sometimes months—for their body to adjust to a normal day-night schedule.
The First Few Weeks: What to Expect
For the first month, newborn sleep is completely unpredictable. Your baby may sleep for two to four hours at a time, waking up to eat, have a diaper change, and maybe take a little peek at the world before drifting back to sleep. This pattern repeats around the clock, meaning parents rarely get a long stretch of rest.
Since newborn stomachs are tiny, they need to eat frequently—every two to three hours for breastfed babies and a little longer for formula-fed ones. This means that just as you fall asleep, your baby may be waking up, needing you again. It’s exhausting, but completely normal.
When Will My Baby Sleep Longer?
Around six to eight weeks, you may start seeing longer stretches at night—maybe even four to six hours. This happens as babies naturally begin producing melatonin, the sleep hormone. But don’t expect a full night’s sleep just yet. Many babies still wake for night feedings until they are several months old.
By three to four months, some babies start consolidating sleep into more predictable naps and longer night stretches. However, sleep regressions—temporary disruptions caused by developmental leaps—are common, and just when you think you’ve figured things out, your baby’s sleep pattern might change again.
Survival Tips for Exhausted Parents
- Sleep When You Can: It’s the most repeated advice for a reason. Even short naps during the day can help take the edge off exhaustion.
- Take Shifts: If you have a partner or support system, take turns getting up with the baby so one of you can get a solid stretch of sleep.
- Create a Sleep-Friendly Environment: Keep nights calm and quiet with dim lighting and minimal stimulation. During the day, expose your baby to natural light to help them adjust to a day-night rhythm.
- Swaddling Can Help: Many newborns sleep better when swaddled, as it mimics the snug feeling of the womb and helps prevent the startle reflex from waking them up.
- Follow Safe Sleep Guidelines: Always place your baby on their back to sleep, use a firm mattress, and keep the crib free of pillows, blankets, and stuffed animals.
- Accept Help: If friends or family offer to watch the baby for an hour so you can nap, take them up on it.
Final Thoughts
The newborn sleep phase is exhausting but temporary. While it may feel like you’ll never sleep again, rest assured that better nights are ahead. In the meantime, give yourself grace, lean on your support system, and know that every bleary-eyed parent before you has survived—and you will, too.
